Miracles

Every morning I write down three things I am grateful for. Today two of my areas of gratitude are the miracles I have seen in the lives of Bela and Oliver, two of my children. I have shared Bela’s story before, but I haven’t told many people about our recent miracle with our youngest son Oliver.

This post is more personal than what I normally share, but I wanted to put these thoughts in writing.

Bela

While out with my girls recently, I ran into a good friend and was reminded of our similar circumstances: we both had daughters with heart conditions born on Leap Day 2008. He and I were not very close before that experience, but we shared several cries both before and after our daughters were born.

My friend and his wife both got teary-eyed as they were getting acquainted with my girls, and my heart ached once again for their loss. Their daughter passed away at about six months old.

I told Bela about their daughter, and she got so sad for them. She has amazing empathy for others who feel pain and suffering.

Today I reflect in gratitude that for whatever reason, God saw fit to allow Bela to make it through. I feel incredibly blessed to have seen this miracle.

I don’t understand why some families witness survival and others endure tremendous loss and suffering. My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones. I haven’t felt that pain and can’t comprehend what you’ve been through, and I want to say that I’m sorry.

Oliver

What started as a normal Friday for our family turned into a Friday that I prefer not to reflect on.

I had picked up the kids’ favorite pizza on my way home from work. When I pulled into my driveway around 6:00 pm, Bela was waiting for me. I wrapped up my phone call and left all my belongings in the car. As I look back, I realize I felt an urgent need to get inside.

As I set the pizza on the counter, I heard my wife, Avery, screaming hysterically in the backyard. It was a scream I don’t recall ever hearing before nor a scream I ever want to hear again.

I ran outside to find Avery kneeling over Oliver. He lay there on the ground—blue and lifeless. I later learned that Avery had found him floating facedown in the middle of the pool.

Avery instructed me to call 911. I have a goal to leave my phone in the car to be more present with my family, and in that moment, I hated that goal. As I sprinted to the garage to grab my phone, my only thought was “Please, no, my boy is dead.” I can honestly say I haven't experienced that depth of hopelessness in my entire life.

I called 911 as I ran back outside. By this point, Avery had already given Ollie a breath or two, but he had not responded in any way. As she gave him chest compressions, she said she could now feel his heartbeat. The 911 operator instructed Avery to give 30 compressions followed by two breaths.

After several minutes and a few rounds of compressions and breaths, Oliver took his first breath. His breath created an overwhelming sense of relief that provided some hope. The fact that Avery’s “supermom” instincts kicked in was a miracle in and of itself. I was a frozen mess and fairly worthless through the entire process.

As I ran to the front yard to usher the paramedics back, I realized that my three girls were watching all of this. I can’t imagine what was going through their little minds as they watched their baby brother lifeless. I do recall Bela was very emotional.

Oliver was still struggling to breathe when the paramedics arrived. I snapped out of my daze and demanded to ride in the ambulance with him.

The drive out of our neighborhood was a sad and touching moment. I looked into the faces of countless neighbors and kids surrounded our house, all crying for Ollie.

The paramedics gave Ollie oxygen, and he began to stabilize. But we didn’t know how stable he was or if he would suffer any long-term brain damage.

The next four hours at the hospital were stressful, as Oliver was not very responsive. Finally, around 10:30 pm, he just snapped out of it. He asked for a popsicle and a show, and we cried for joy.

Our nurse kept saying, “This is a miracle. You guys are so lucky. We see many drownings, and you are so lucky.” It was a miracle. A couple months later, and we have seen no long-term effects of the incident.

I can’t help but think that Oliver came to earth and was kept here to fulfill an important mission. There isn’t a great way to put this, but Oliver was our only unplanned child. When Avery found out she was pregnant with him, we immediately felt that he needed to be in our family because we were definitely not trying for another baby. God had the opportunity to take my son that fateful day, but he didn’t. I want to remind Ollie of this fact throughout his life.

We shouldn’t need a traumatic experience to think, “I am here on this earth for a purpose, and I will live my life in pursuit of that purpose.” I know Oliver has a purpose and you have a purpose. I encourage you to be a source for good in this world and discover and live that purpose.